Jeremy Lin & Asian American Male Sexuality

I have to join in on the conversation here.  First of all, I’m excited and proud to see all the attention Jeremy Lin is getting, not only because he’s an Asian American and a Christian, but because he has worked so hard and shown such courage to get where he is today.  And because, as described in the previous post, he has serious talent!  That’s just fun to watch.

Growing up, I feel like there was a lack of representation of Asian American men in popular culture, that I could look up to.  And that kind of thing is really important in one’s childhood… to see positive images of people you can relate to.  I rooted so hard for Yul Kwon, the first Asian American winner of the hit reality show, Survivor, and felt so validated when he outmuscled and outstrategized his competition.  And today, I love seeing Jeremy Lin tear up the court, proving all his doubters wrong.

At the same time, conversations about his success have forced me to remember some sobering realities that Asian American men face.  After all, most of us aren’t 6″3 and 200 pounds like Lin, or built with rock-hard abs like Kwon.  No, we’re more in the range of say, 5″7 and 150 pounds, give or take a few.  We’re usually the shortest, smallest, and quietest men in the room — and that’s not lost on us, especially in a culture where manliness is often associated with physical size, height, and aggression.

Seeing Jeremy Lin in a Knicks uniform, I wonder how many people remember Wat Misaka, the first non-Caucasian player in the NBA, who also played in Madison Square Garden for three games before he was cut.  This article reveals his knowledge that being 5″7 was a disadvantage.  In a movie made about him, it says that apparently Misaka had been a “big hit” among viewers when he played against the Harlem Globetrotters, and he was even offered a place on their team, but he declined.  Did anyone think of him as a circus show?

Here’s another part of the social reality of Asian American men: we’re by far the most bullied of all groups among schools in the United States.  Most of us heard the news about Private Danny Chen’s suicide, after relentless hazing and racist behavior by fellow soldiers.  A few studies in dating preferences have shown that Asian American men are the “least desirable” group among females.

So what do we do about it?  Most of us are not getting taller anytime soon.  Do we drink protein shakes at every meal, and hit the gym to build our muscle mass?  Or learn to behave like an alpha male in order to be more desirable to women (or socially accepted), as Wesley Yang highlights in his “Paper Tigers” article?

Honestly, reading that article depressed me.  Because in some ways, it was so true.  I know so many Asian American men who react in one of two ways to their cultural and sexual identity: feel hopeless and depressed, or do everything they can to try to be like other cultures or people, who they feel are more “cool” or socially acceptable.

The article also depressed me because as a Christian, I don’t think God gave me my body, with its height and bone/facial structure, by accident.  It wasn’t a mistake, and it’s not something I should have to be ashamed of.  I respect Jeremy Lin and Yul Kwon, and I am genuinely happy for them.  But part of me doesn’t want to be them.  Part of me rebels against the idea that I need to prove that I can do everything other people or cultures can do.

That’s what I believe deep down inside, but that doesn’t always translate to how we feel.  How can we feel beautiful, when there are so many forces at work portraying the opposite message?

So I guess I’m wondering a few things.  What does it mean to be an Asian American man?  What does our culture think of sexuality, and how do we fit in that?

Is there an example of an Asian American man in the public eye, who isn’t unusually tall or athletic, and who is proud and brings his culture into what he does?

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Comments

  1. Someazndude says:

    Why don’t you take J-lin’s lesson and learn to work towards those things. Just because you are 5’7 150 pounds doesn’t mean anything. I bet when J-lin went un-drafted he had some thoughts about quitting and pursuing something else, but he didn’t he wanted to be a NBA bball player even with all the discrimination and B.S. He worked hard and destroy the D-league. Got drafted as a 4 – string PG for the warriors and was cut. He went through a lot because people saw only his disadvantages yet when all hope was loss, all his hard work and determination came through. Stop circle jerking yourself thinking because your Asian or short it has something to do with your failures, you have to own up that i am who i am and i have to make the best of it. Yes our cultural background make us more submissive then other cultures but it doesn’t mean you can’t adapt. Stop looking for other people to give you “confidence” and be confidence in yourself through the realization that no one but yourself can determine your future. Stop bitching.

  2. Jesse "the Drop" Y says:

    As a Taiwanese American growing up in New York, There are a couple of points in this article that i can agree and disagree with. First off, I think most asian americans put themselves into a cycle of self fulfilling prophylactics. Most asian stereotypes are made up and promoted by the white society and media. However, asian americans don’t really help by promoting these stereotypes as well for a quick buck. think about all the youtube videos of asian guys talking about how pathetic they are with women or how they can’t get a date, or making asian jokes towards themselves to get a cheap laugh. Then you got comedians on tv who are asian and making even more stereotypes about themselves making the rest of the world think we are all like that. And because of all this negative media constantly being drilled down our heads ever since birth, many asian american guys fall into the trap of losing their confidence and accepting the fact that they are just not as good as other men. I hang out with mostly blacks and hispanics who all have strong personalities. i grew up with them. plus the fact that i’m from new york so i’ll admit i have the “i’m better than you” in your face mentality. I’ve dated a white girl, black girl, and spanish girl before along with a couple of asians. it is really all about your attitude. However, I also have some typical asian american friends that i hang out with from time to time. I find most of them to be timid, afraid of rejection, and thinking “oh this girl will never like me because i’m asian so i won’t even try”. It is very discouraging to see that. So do i consider myself in the category of the person who “immersed himself in another culture to fit in?” hell no. why is having a strong personality considered “black or hispanic culture” Why can’t it just be how i am? I think we as a people need to stop doubting ourselves and stop being timid little bitches and just go for it. It was easy for me because of who i grew up with and where i grew up. Other asian guys need to find their own niche.

  3. Adrian says:

    Hey “Someazndude”:

    I appreciate the advice, but this post isn’t really about me. I’m doing just fine with my body image, and I don’t think I’m a failure at all. I didn’t say I was 5″7 or 150 pounds… but it’s a reality for a lot of Asian American men out there who do struggle with some of the things listed above. Do you think the answer is to just tell them all to stop complaining? Would you say that to Private Danny Chen? Would you say that to all the Asian Americans who struggle with thoughts of suicide?

    I actually agree with part of what you’re saying, which is that we have to understand who we are, accept that, and make the best of it. Good point. But I don’t think that’s easy for a lot of people, and we shouldn’t trivialize the reality of their struggles. I think it’s healthy and good to create some space for people to share and figure out some things that aren’t easy related to being a minority in this country, without worrying they’ll be just told to “man up” or “get over it.” But you certainly have a right to your opinion, and I’m glad you shared it here.

  4. Thanks for taking this one on.

    After the recent kerfuffle about Pete Hoekstra’s anti-China ad seems like Asian American identity conversations are all over the place. Love it. I will say that the conversation about the demasculinization of the Asian American male has been a contant source of debate for a while and I tend to agree that overall, we have not been portrayed in the most masculine ways . . . at least not absent of martial arts. There was also a time when the Asian Male was scene as sensual and exotic, so there’s that.

    With any of these conversations about race we need to be able to look at big-picture concepts and generalizations and then be thoughtful and nuanced as we talk about the application and response. Not sure that I added anything to the conversations, but thanks for giving us another opportunity to have it.

  5. Regina says:

    There are some big assumptions being made here in the comments.

    Someazndude thinks Asian American men should adapt and conform to what everyone else says is masculine. Just work harder, like JLin. But, JLin aside, it sounds like Someazndude has bought into everyone else’s definition of masculinity – and their definition obviously isn’t accurate because it doesn’t describe real men of all races and backgrounds. (Unless, of course, “masculinity” is an inherently racist term.)

    Jesse, on the other hand, attributes his sense of masculinity to growing up in NYC around black and Latino friends. That isn’t bad, by any means, but that doesn’t take away the fact that his background is Taiwanese American. Why doesn’t he derive a sense of masculinity from that?

    Basically, my question is: why do we assume that Asian culture doesn’t produce masculine men, and that we have to adapt to other cultures to become more masculine?

    I think the real way Asian American men can man up is by learning to respect themselves and their culture, and figuring out what real masculinity is. Don’t disrespect yourselves, brothers.

  6. adrianpei says:

    Jesse Y.:

    You’re right that Asian Americans have to be careful about mocking themselves and encouraging stereotypes, because while they might think they’re funny… it’s not funny to other people who face discrimination, and it doesn’t treat our own culture with the dignity it deserves. I found your comment interesting about how “typical Asian Americans” you know are timid and afraid of rejection. That discourages me too, because I want them to know they’re okay as they are, and don’t have to be afraid or ashamed. I want to see Asian American men who are confident and leaders, though they might be small, short, quiet, or anything else that isn’t considered “manly” in American culture. I guess I’m saying, that would make me happier than only seeing big, strong, aggressive Asian American men in the spotlight who make an impression. Do you know what I mean?

    Bruce:

    Thanks for offering your thoughts. You’re right… there’s a long history of this in cinema. I think the movie “The Slanted Screen” covers that pretty well… and even when I was watching “The Expendables,” it bothered me a bit how Jet Li’s character was treated by the others. I would argue that it’s not necessarily the issue that Asian masculinity is portrayed badly… but rather that there’s an absence of constructive thought on what exactly is Asian American masculinity. And that’s what I want to see. A constructive conversation about what this is, and how we can celebrate and be proud of the way God created us. Any constructive thoughts you might have, on what is Asian American masculinity?

  7. Kevin Cheng says:

    Actually someazndude, your assumptions about Lin not wanting to be an NBA player are wrong. It was his dream as we can see in this 2010 interview when he was still playing for Harvard and before he played for the Golden State Warriors via Youtube: http://youtu.be/ZmwrLSxCVbU

    Just to clarify with you, it sounds like your defending Jeremy Lin there. If you are, I don’t think Adrian is insulting Lin there nor is he downplaying his masculinity or his diligence to get where he is. He also isn’t saying looking at Jeremy Lin depresses him. What’s depressing is the reality of how the East Coast perception of Male Asian American Sexual Identity via the “Paper Tigers Article”. Jeremy Lin was a talking point because he does indeed break stereotypes but also “fits it”. How Jeremy Lin gained recognition as–mentioned in why Adrian partly rebels–is the fact that it -seems- like he had to play an American Majority Sport and do it better than them for him to be recognized. But at the point, is he being recognized as a Desirable Asian Man because he’s an aggressive go getting Asian making fools of all Americans like Yul Kwon or is he recognized because he’s simple an awesome Asian American Man? I think Adrian is just asking how then do we reconcile this and if indeed our Asian American Male Sexuality (Manhood) is defined by how “masculine” or “feminine” we do things.

    I think Jeremy Lin answers this himself in these two 2010 Harvard interviews:
    http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Faith-and-Fate-of-Jeremy-Lin.html
    http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Jeremy-Lin-Faith-and-Ethnicity

    Here are some notable Asian Americans that are not athletic!
    http://teacher.scholastic.com/activities/asian-american/notables.htm
    There’s a scientist, a web wizard, and a musician.

    Some of my AA male role models who aren’t all your typical gunho macho masculine but I think are quite “desirable” and masculine in their own right. They are:

    Ip Man!!! No?
    Bruce Lee? No? Too Asian?

    J.R. Celski. – He is an American short track speed skater and two-time medalist (two bronze) in the Winter Olympics. I don’t think (presuming here) many East Coasters considers Speed Skating in Winter Olympics as some athletic, aggressive sport. There’s a finesse, dexterity and elegance to it.

    AA male Dancers:
    Harry Shum Jr. – He’s the cast of glee as Mike Cha/u/eng
    Alex D Wong who went for YDYCD but dropped due to freak breakage of his ankle
    Cloud Campos

    John M. Chu – He’s an American film director and screenwriter best known for directing the movies Step Up 2: The Streets, Step Up 3D and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never.

    Leehom Wang!!! Definitely him. Though not really recognized in the US.

    I’m going to throw in AA Youtube Celebrities like:
    GOWE, KevJumba (Kevin Wu), Nigahiga (Ryan Higa), freddiew (Freddie Wong)

    Jaeson Ma? Does he count? Lol

    Perhaps there should be more articles written to give light on unsung but notable heroes of Asian American Men?

    Anyways, back to the main point, my own opinion of Asian American Sexuality is hard for me to pinpoint. That’s because Male Sexuality in American is still pigeonholed as being some tall, venereal, muscular, super masculine dude to be desirable. Now throw Asian American in there and you’re adding the pigeonholed stereotypes that come with that label. Labels are inescapable on the world we live in. But what I do hope for is that those boundaries will that label us will begin to be redefined. Such as basketball isn’t just simply seen as an All American Sport. I do hope (regardless of race but in this case) Asian American Men’s manhood (that includes sexuality) would be defined not by what they do or by the masculine standard that they must live up to. But by what’s already bestowed upon them by God. A man that rejects passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageous and seeks God’s greater rewards. I think a very wise woman named Regina said this to me once, “We don’t need our parent’s approval to be an adult” and I think we also don’t need the approval of others or society of what our AA Male Sexuality need to be in order to be a Man. We already have a right to be a Man of “Weightiness” bestowed to us by Christ, but only if we chose to fight for it and live by it moment by moment. It might not always be culturally relevant in terms of being TALL and ATHLETIC and MASCULINE but we can be Masculine in Mission in our own ways and in our own right.

    All that’s left is to convince the rest of the world. :) Oh wait, no need, Jesus Wins. Okay Good night. :)

  8. Kevin Cheng says:

    Actually someazndude, your assumptions about Lin not wanting to be an NBA player are wrong. It was his dream as we can see in this 2010 interview when he was still playing for Harvard and before he played for the Golden State Warriors via Youtube: http://youtu.be/ZmwrLSxCVbU

    Just to clarify with you, it sounds like your defending Jeremy Lin there. If you are, I don’t think Adrian is insulting Lin there nor is he downplaying his masculinity or his diligence to get where he is. He also isn’t saying looking at Jeremy Lin depresses him. What’s depressing is the reality of how the East Coast perception of Male Asian American Sexual Identity via the “Paper Tigers Article”. Jeremy Lin was a talking point because he does indeed break stereotypes but also “fits it”. How Jeremy Lin gained recognition as–mentioned in why Adrian partly rebels–is the fact that it -seems- like he had to play an American Majority Sport and do it better than them for him to be recognized. But at the point, is he being recognized as a Desirable Asian Man because he’s an aggressive go getting Asian making fools of all Americans like Yul Kwon or is he recognized because he’s simple an awesome Asian American Man? I think Adrian is just asking how then do we reconcile this and if indeed our Asian American Male Sexuality (Manhood) is defined by how “masculine” or “feminine” we do things.
    ——————

    In Response to your Questions Adrian:

    I think Jeremy Lin answers this himself in these two 2010 Harvard interviews:
    http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Faith-and-Fate-of-Jeremy-Lin.html
    http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Jeremy-Lin-Faith-and-Ethnicity

    Here are some notable Asian Americans that are not athletic!
    http://teacher.scholastic.com/activities/asian-american/notables.htm
    There’s a scientist, a web wizard, and a musician.

    Some of my AA male role models who aren’t all your typical gunho macho masculine but I think are quite “desirable” and masculine in their own right. They are:

    Ip Man!!! No?
    Bruce Lee? No? Too Asian?

    J.R. Celski. – He is an American short track speed skater and two-time medalist (two bronze) in the Winter Olympics. I don’t think (presuming here) many East Coasters considers Speed Skating in Winter Olympics as some athletic, aggressive sport. There’s a finesse, dexterity and elegance to it.

    AA male Dancers:
    Harry Shum Jr. – He’s the cast of glee as Mike Cha/u/eng
    Alex D Wong who went for YDYCD but dropped due to freak breakage of his ankle
    Cloud Campos

    John M. Chu – He’s an American film director and screenwriter best known for directing the movies Step Up 2: The Streets, Step Up 3D and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never.

    Leehom Wang!!! Definitely him. Though not really recognized in the US.

    I’m going to throw in AA Youtube Celebrities like:
    GOWE, KevJumba (Kevin Wu), Nigahiga (Ryan Higa), freddiew (Freddie Wong)

    Jaeson Ma? Does he count? Lol

    Perhaps there should be more articles written to give light on unsung but notable heroes of Asian American Men?

    Anyways, back to the main point, my own opinion of Asian American Sexuality is hard for me to pinpoint. That’s because Male Sexuality in American is still pigeonholed as being some tall, venereal, muscular, super masculine dude to be desirable. Now throw Asian American in there and you’re adding the pigeonholed stereotypes that come with that label. Labels are inescapable on the world we live in. But what I do hope for is that those boundaries will that label us will begin to be redefined. Such as basketball isn’t just simply seen as an All American Sport. I do hope (regardless of race but in this case) Asian American Men’s manhood (that includes sexuality) would be defined not by what they do or by the masculine standard that they must live up to. But by what’s already bestowed upon them by God. A man that rejects passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageous and seeks God’s greater rewards. I think a very wise woman named Regina said this to me once, “We don’t need our parent’s approval to be an adult” and I think we also don’t need the approval of others or society of what our AA Male Sexuality need to be in order to be a Man. We already have a right to be a Man of “Weightiness” bestowed to us by Christ, but only if we chose to fight for it and live by it moment by moment. It might not always be culturally relevant in terms of being TALL and ATHLETIC and MASCULINE but we can be Masculine in Mission in our own ways and in our own right.

    All that’s left is to convince the rest of the world. Oh wait, no need, Jesus Wins. Okay Good night.

  9. eric says:

    Hi, here’s my take on one way to think about positive/constructive AA masculinity:
    – I think positive masculinity comes from God. Many of the character traits God loves, the world hates: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (the fruit of the spirit).
    – For what people find truly attractive and truly inspiring, for both men and women, I think the answer is the same: someone who is after the heart of God.
    I can write separately about what is unique about AA cultures that someone can learn from and build upon.

  10. Truth Unites... and Divides says:

    “Is there an example of an Asian American man in the public eye, who isn’t unusually tall or athletic, and who is proud and brings his culture into what he does?”

    Chef Ming Tsai?

  11. eric says:

    “In the public eye”:
    There are a number of political leaders: Gary Locke, Eric Shinseki, Steven Chu, Ed Lee, etc.
    A lot of business leaders, Tony Hsieh, Jerry Yang, and in businesses we’ve never heard of.
    Artists, such as Yo-Yo Ma, Ang Lee, I.M Pei
    Note media representation is not a good indicator for whether there are people doing good work in the public. There are many leaders in local communities.

  12. adrianpei says:

    Regina: Great to see a sister care enough about uplifting the AA male image, to write in.

    Kevin: “A man that rejects passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageous and seeks God’s greater rewards.” A great start in constructing some of what might make AA masculinity. Would love to see more here.

    Eric: “I can write separately about what is unique about AA cultures that someone can learn from and build upon.” Go for it.

  13. William Woo says:

    Two words: Bruce Lee!

  14. eric says:

    (1) What does it mean to be an Asian American man? What are the strengths of what we offer?

    Growing up in different cultures is a way to learn compassion, to learn to listen and seek to understand before being understood.

    I had a female friend remark once, that God is a gentleman, he does not shout. Confucian thinking, at its best, is very attractive. It cares a lot about what it means to be a “gentleman”. Of course there are a lot of aspects to what it is a gentleman, but the point here is that Confucian thought values this pursuit very highly. This is not a value most people think of when they think about American culture (perhaps British). Confucian thinking is also very considerate of our relationships. Honoring parents, members, and those in authority has a biblical foundation, and again, is very attractive, and often missing from Hollywood conceptions of masculinity. If you have a choice to date someone who has broken relationships with his family versus someone who honor these relationships, most people would gravitate toward the latter.

    Maybe someone else can expand on these, but I think other positive strengths I have seen in some AA’s are:

    – Perspicaciousness, serenity
    – Commitment, industriousness

    These are broad strokes, that are open to all people, but I think understanding Confucian and western cultures creates a unique opportunity to develop these attributes. Would love to hear more thoughts.

  15. adrianpei says:

    I saw FIVE things about Jeremy Lin in tonight’s game against the Lakers that make him a true Asian American Christian man (in my opinion):

    – Courage: he didn’t back down from anybody, though he was knocked down a couple of times, including by Metta World Peace in the beginning of the game. He kept coming.
    – Humility: He consistently deflected praise and attention, wanting the focus on others.
    – Collective-attitude: He was always working to make his teammates better… without him on the court, the Knicks went to one-on-one plays, and clearly relied on him to run the offense and make everything work. That’s because he cared about the group rather than just himself. That’s a leader.
    – Working hard (diligence): Even after a great half, he said he was going back to the locker room to look at tape to improve his play. He wasn’t lazy or entitled at all.
    – Composure (calm/serenity): The announcers called it patience. He stayed cool and never let all the hype or expectations get to him, even with the huge spotlight and playing against one of the greatest and most intimidating players of all time (Kobe Bryant).

    All five of those elements are what make a real man, in my opinion. And Jeremy Lin is a man, and showed it tonight.

  16. djchuang says:

    And, in recent evangelical debates in the blogosphere, some prominent Christian pastors are advocating a “masculine Christianity” where it comes across as the best (or only?) men aspire to be alpha males. This causes all the more a-stir with a face/voice like John Piper in the mix http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christianpiatt/2012/02/examining-john-pipers-masculine-christianity/ and would it be no surprise that all the faces advocating it have a whiter & brigher Anglo hue?

  17. Adrian says:

    Love hearing the positive examples of Asian American male role models. Bruce Lee has always been confusing for me, since he did so much that’s great for Asian American men, but at the same time a lot of people have been on the receiving end of Bruce Lee jokes. Maybe because he was such a pioneer, he became a channel for all the misunderstanding and polarizing of others? Wonder if Jeremy Lin will become that, too.

    Eric: I like the constructive thought you’re starting. It’s an interesting approach to start with more purely Asian history, in terms of cultural/religious influences (i.e. Confucianism). So then as Christians, how do we approach that, when most of what we’ve known is American Christianity? That makes me curious to look at indigenous Christianity in non-American countries, that has developed for years and with minimal imperialistic influence from other countries. Maybe we’ll learn something about culture and faith and their collision through those examples.

    DJ: Great connection. I like that Christian men are taking up the question about what it means to be a man, but it grieves and bothers me to see the “alpha male” conclusions you’re mentioning. Makes me wonder if this discussion about Asian American masculinity has something unique to offer, in showing sides of masculinity that are true to Christianity, but are missing from conversations that have happened so far.

  18. Ben J says:

    I’m super psyched about Jeremy Lin being the next big Asian Male Role Model! Super excited to see Asian men seen in a positive light, rather than mass media crapping all over us… This article is right when it comes to Asian Americans being bullied in schools. I am an Asian male myself and I find it extremely disturbing that my race is bullied the most. I noticed it myself that I got picked on a ton just for being Asian in High School. I hated it.

    Now that we’ve got Jeremy Lin as an Asian Male Role Model, I find that we need to have more men like this pop up in the mainstream media, not so we look good, or can get laid, but so we can start to break some of the stereotypes that have been based upon the mass media. The only way to break stereotypes is to not believe in them. Found this article on Asian Male Role Models, and why we need more of them. Go check it out here: http://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/jeremy-lin-why-having-asian-american-role-models-heroes-is-important/

  19. Jay says:

    Jeremy Lin is one of MANY kinds of Asian role models I have had in my life. Hell you can find many of them in their different interests and hobbies on youtube, dispensing wisdom or entertainment. I love how people try buy so much into the stereotype and make the mainstream count when in the real world, it counts so fekkin little and in the end, it is just you (yes YOU!) and the rest of the world and society! That is why you never hear much from the people who can give a rats ass because they are doing what J-Lin has done under the radar of mainstream media and in their own way.

  20. adrianpei says:

    Ben, I agree that breaking stereotypes is what we need more of… but I think we have to be careful as we talk about them. Because if we only glorify Asian American men who are tall and athletic and aggressive, etc., we can unintentionally adopt the lie that those characteristics are inherently better. And that’s what I refuse to believe. No matter how much our culture and society favors those things, I believe there is strength and dignity in how God created each race and person, and I hope we as a culture can embrace that.

    Jay, I respect that you don’t just listen to the mainstream, but find role models everywhere. But I wouldn’t minimize the impact of media when it comes to shaping people’s opinions. And I hope that some of those people doing great work under the radar, will become more visible so others can see more balanced examples of Asian American men.

  21. Raphael Turtle says:

    Why do you, and I guess the media in general, refer to Yul Kwon and Jeremy Lin as Kwon and Lin? Instead of Yul and Jeremy?

  22. adrianpei says:

    Raphael, I’m not sure I understand your question. Generally people use last names in a formal writing context (as you said). What are you getting at?

  23. Calvin Phun says:

    Hello ,

    Thank you for writing this…. My name is Calvin Phun and I’m a Real Estate agent in Phildelphila….. There are just so many things in your blog that I agree with … Why do we have to be 6’1 to be hot or noticed …… I guess sometimes it had to do with how the media in America think should be beautiful.

    I’ve had the honors to get alot of press locally for being voted the hottest broker in the city and I think it has alot to do with who I am as a person …..

    http://www.phillymag.com/realestate/architecture-design/phillys-hottest-broker-calvin-phun-tells-all-in-g-philly/

    Examples should be set for discussion.

    Thank you for the blog post.

    Calvin Phun

  24. Alice Zindagi says:

    Asian men have it a lot better in today’s world than they did twenty years ago. It wasn’t long ago that people might have been quoting lines from Long Duk Dong’s mouth at you. Things have changed. There’s Jeremy Lin showing the country that Asian men can be successful athletes, there’s Steve Yeun showing the country that they can be successful actors (in romantic roles, no less, and not a tall, ripped, Asian Adonis). Things are great. Unfortunately there’s still a long way to go in the realm of dating success. While things have changed in sports and the media, this is still relatively recent and this success has yet to smash typical Asian male dating stereotypes. In other words, dating is still very much a white man’s world in the United States. Fortunately, we don’t have to wait for Jeremy Lin’s successor to change that:

    http://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/white-male-privilege-in-dating-the-asian-mans-guide-to-winning-an-unfair-game/

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