I’m in a season of gearshifting this spring and summer.

Since I’ve stepped down from serving the Korean church, I’ve taken the time to fly under the radar and visit a Filipino church and some other small, but vibrant community churches. For a change, and at least for this season, it’s been great to relax and rest on Sundays and not have to worry about the details of service and preparation. It makes me understand both clergy and laity a bit more and that has been refreshing.

My employment (in the traditional corporate setting) is also going to change soon, which as it draws closer, is bringing new issues of my heart. I can see how in some ways, how the work of my hands has lulled me into a sense that I can provide security and (the most curious) sense of pride in who I am and what I do. While I’m doing this to pursue deeper passions, I find myself with a strange hesitation to leaving. I imagine my uncomfortable answer to the ubiquitous question “What do you do for a living?” takes on something that is increasingly unorthodox. It appears that my job title will no longer hide the fact that I’m not “normal” and that’s one particular mask that I wish I could keep.

In epilogue to the story of crime in my neighborhood, my wife and I decided to go forth with our original plans to move in-town. So we’re selling our house and buying another which has brought up all kinds of interesting issues — the demographics around us are changing in every which way. It’s brought up all kinds of conversations that have revealed something I had never verbalized before. That is, I’m prejudiced against rich people.

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I’ll be honest, my views of my ethnicity as it relates to my faith in Jesus Christ have evolved over the course of processing my thoughts on this blog, and I believe I’m still learning and have a long way to go.

In my defense, it is not a simple matter and many a doctoral dissertation has been written on this collision between identity, faith, and culture. There are so many factors involved especially when you look over the course of history and the interactions of the various people groups involved.

As Pastor Warren brought up some interesting issues in his comments here and on his latest blog post, I feel like it’s good to find myself back in that place of recalibration and checking the plumbline. I’ve asked these questions of myself before. And because it’s true that “religion can play a significant part in affecting a young Asian American’s ethnic identity”, I think it’s always good to ask why God made me an Asian American and as nskripchun duly asks, “What’s an Asian American Christian to do?” Check out this well-articulated snippet:

Too often there’s the claim that recognizing our Asian-ness is a “distraction” from focusing on our Christianity when the reality is this: There are those within the Christian community who mistake conformity with white American cultural norms (English Only… freedom versus tyranny, anyone?) with conformity to the life Jesus Christ called us to – a life of sacrifice, love, hope, and TRUTH.

God granted Asian American Christians their Asian identity for a good reason… and it’s not solely for starring in poorly written skits. The Asian American Christian community could do better to realize that and not be ashamed of being “yellow.”

And read an excerpt from this abstract to see how complex identity formation can be when the dynamics of power and privilege are applied.

Mennonites have historically operated within an ethnicity framework, emphasizing their Swiss-Germanic ethnic roots, but de-emphasizing their racial identity as a white church. Involvement with African Americans forced white individuals and the broader church to adopt a racial framework perspective and consider the implications of historical racism and contemporary racial inequality. In contrast, white Mennonite outreach to Asian immigrants was primarily situated within an ethnicity framework in which traditional Mennonites could emphasize diverse ethnic cultures while avoiding the more difficult issues of power and privilege that accompany a racial framework. [emphasis mine] This was accomplished through a process of [Read more...]

Today, I had a unique conversation with a woman at a certain cohousing community in Atlanta.

She was telling us about the community and how different aspects of her life had a sense of integrity that I had to admire.

For instance, she and her partner lived with two children in a townhome that was quite cozy (i.e. small), but she was still wanting to scale down. In her co-housing community, she knew all her neighbors, shared communal dinners often, and gardened vegetables in a community garden. She spoke of how her next door neighbor was a Muslim, but how she didn’t have to worry about her dog offending him since they had rescued her from such abuse that she didn’t like to be  around people period. A Buddhist lived a couple doors down and a Episcopalian priest married to a Presbyterian counselor was in the other house. They all got along well and worked to live in community. She talked about “unschooling” as opposed to homeschooling, and how her five-year-old son had a natural curiosity and propensity for peace. She was into nonviolence and had taught her son to think about the brands they bought (not Converse or Nike, but Vans were OK), and to connect how the yucca root they bought at their local farmer’s market could teach them about the political system in Brazil. She said she strived to see peace on earth through the conscious efforts in simple, nonviolent living, reducing the amount of commercialism and television in her life, and being politically active. The cohousing group knew all the candidates and worked for change by voting and with their dollars.

“I could learn a lot from them. Growing up as a son of an immigrant, I never was politically active,” I told her. “I don’t know if we ever thought we could impact the system, or took the time to think it through in that sense, we were just glad to be here and go to school and work here. I don’t think I was ever exposed to the viewpoint that I could participate and change the system or make sure that the system was fair to others.”

“Oh, you’d definitely learn that here. We are all about change.”

It showed from her lifestyle. She was true to what she cared about and it showed in her simple life, her dedication to community, and the ways in which she acted, voted, and encouraged others.

I’ve visited two other communities like this locally and found no Asian Americans.  Do we care about the cities in which we live? Is it possible that Asians might care more about the environment than Asian Americans? Do we care about not just taking advantage of good schools, but making schools better for everyone? Do we care to broaden our definition of community — to educate others about the beauty of our culture and to learn about others? Do Asian American Christians just care about pursuing the ‘American Dream’ without dreaming of what America could be? Do we care to make a change at all? Or just as a hobby from our large suburban homes?

If a cohousing community like this is all about change, what does that say about our churches? What are we about?

One of my youth group members, let’s call him “John”, began to take a downward spiral last year. Skipping classes, hanging out all the time, and growing irreversibly apathetic to most everything that only a year before were important to him. When I began to ask questions, he was always cordial, receptive even. But as a youth pastor, I didn’t know exactly how to help him or use Scripture to encourage him to grab the steering wheel of his life before things spun dangerously out of control.

His family had lost sponsorship. The company that had sponsored their immigration went under and had not alerted the family, perhaps out of guilt. By the time the issue came up, it was too late — their papers were no good.

“John” who was in the middle of high school was doing fairly well, but as the family scrambled to make ends meet, a dark cloud of hopelessness settled over them. John might do well enough in school to get admission to a college, but they would be hard pressed to afford it and even if John graduated, he wouldn’t be able to get a job, at least, not one that wasn’t “under the table”. His family hadn’t been to Korea in over a decade and their prospects would not be good there either. What good is school? What good is church at this point?

There are literally thousands of families like “John”s. And while this issue becomes politicized and debated, I long for a biblical response that would comfort families like this. John Lamb pointed this verse and the following story to me today. Please get involved.

Acts  17:5-8

But the Jews were jealous; so they rounded up some bad characters from the marketplace, formed a mob and started a riot in the city. They rushed to Jason’s house in search of Paul and Silas in order to bring them out to the crowd.^[c] 6But when they did not find them, they dragged Jason and some other brothers before the city officials, shouting: “These men who have caused trouble all over the world have now come here, 7and Jason has welcomed them into his house. They are all defying Caesar’s decrees, saying that there is another king, one called Jesus.” 8When they heard this, the crowd and the city officials were thrown into turmoil.

Thousands of Undocumented ‘Adopted’

Eastern Group Publications, News Report, Selene Rivera, Posted: Apr 09, 2007

“For a safe America, adopt an immigrant,” says a coalition that recently initiated a program where American citizens can symbolically adopt an undocumented immigrant in the United States. More than 12 thousand undocumented children and adults in the United States have already been “adopted.” What’s more, some activists opposed to illegal immigration say they support the program.

The objective of the program, initiated at the national level last November, is to promote immigration reform that offers legal status and safety to undocumented immigrants, stated Osvaldo Cabrera, director of the Latinoamerica International Coalition, which initiated the movement.
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Imus is everywhere. If you can’t say anything nice on “The Doghouse with JV and Elvis”, we’ll be handing out pink slips. Pink, as in “shimp flied lice”.

If you can stomach listening to white pranksters make jokes at this Chinese restaurant’s expense feel free to listen below. I believe this is the clip that caused the firing of the CBS Radio shock jocks:

Here’s my concern, check out the blog of JV and Elvis. Note the video clip of Glenn Beck’s show where they express concern that this firing is an endangerment to free speech. Their claim was simply that “people need to grow thicker skin.” They seem to blame the OCA for calling them on the carpet like a kid getting caught for cheating blames the teacher.

How long does “comedy” take place at someone else’s expense? How true is it that artists are merely reflecting culture? This coming on the heels of Rosie O’Donnell, Kenneth Eng, and Don Imus, it appears we are all becoming as sensitive as Scientologists, but rightfully so…right? I hate the racism, and would love for all the expressions to stop, but at the same time, it seems to me that if no one writes the law on their hearts, then it’s just a “special interest”. Somehow, I fear this could hurt us more than the initial sting of being made fun of.

One of the most painful places to be betrayed, lied to, swindled, taken advantage of, abused, ridiculed, maligned, and otherwise bamboozled is none other than the church. “Ain’t no hurt like a church hurt,” as I’ve heard said in the South. For clergy and laity alike, a wound that occurs in the place which touts the most potential to be a vision of God’s kingdom on earth can be devastating.

Literally, I know dozens of people who will cite being offended by “believers” as their reason for not finding church valid. Some of them were bitter, jaded people before they stepped foot in a church and had insatiable expectations for what church could do for them and probably would’ve walked away from Christ himself. Tragically, I also know church people who have little patience for those who don’t conform to themselves (Christ?), often subjecting them to observation or “testing” before welcoming them. They privately dismiss those who leave the “discipline of community” as obviously proven their status to be not of the elect.

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One of my favorite 18-minute presentations at Q was by Jeff Johnson, minimalistically titled, “Hip Hop”.

Jeff’s talk was brilliant and I can assure you that even among the list of elite speakers present at the gathering, he captivated the audience to the point that we were breathless at times, as though inhaling and exhaling would keep us from hearing his powerful words. One memorable quote came when he accused even the “multi-ethnic” body of Christ still classifying African-Americans who they don’t go to church with as “niggers”.

“They’re not ‘niggers’ if they go to church with me, but they’re ‘niggers’ in the street. They’re not ‘niggers’ when we’re worshiping; they’re not ‘niggers’ because they know Jesus. They’re not ‘niggers’ because they’re saved. As if their blackness was somehow eradicated once they accepted Christ.” He paused smiling and looked around the room filled with mostly white, middle-class, suburban, megachurch-is-the-solution-minded folk, and said, “Some of you are so uncomfortable right now!”

The tension in the Tabernacle erupted in laughter, but the point was made. The notion of ethnic diversity in church is a sterile one at best; at worst, it’s leveraged as propaganda — “Oh we have a Thai person here who came to Christ, please tell us about the depravity that the Lord delivered you from through the work of our church! And do share with us some of your recipes for pad thai, I love exotic cuisine!”

Jeff continued to talk about hip hop as a language of a community, a multi-ethnic and global community, and how we as the church can begin to embrace hip hop by acknowledging “them” as “us”. He drew a full circle from his intro when he opened up his talk with Don Imus, to declaring to the well-churched audience…”This has nothing to do with Imus, but everything to do with Imus, because I — am — us.”

I attended the “talkback” session with Johnson afterwards and he was equally quick and articulate. While I have no video from it, you can check out the clip below to get a taste of the man’s energy and clarity. I believe we, as Asian Americans, have a lot to learn when it comes to identifying with “the other” and including “them” into “us”. Thank you Jeff, thank you for speaking for us and to us.

Still processing…unlike DJ, I’m slow-drip. If you were still looking for a taste, check out the video found on YouTube:

Noticeably absent at Q was the on-stage presence of Asian Americans, African Americans, and Latinos. Although at the very least, 2 of the presenters were African American, and of course, diversity and multi-ethnicity were stated as key values by a number of people. Comforting? Maybe…we’ll see.

What was set as a premise was the notion of 7 Channels of Cultural Influence (pdf). They are, in short:

1. Media
   – television / radio / publishing / newspaper / Internet
2. Arts + Entertainment
   – artists / film/ literature / music / performing arts / sports / theatre / video game
3. Business
   – advertising / mktg / pr / biotech / ecommerce / finance / law / medicine /nanotech / science / services / tech
4. Education
   – schools / college / university / continuing ed
5. Government
   – executive / judicial / legislative / military / political commentators / public policy / advocacy
6. Church
   – local churches / parachurch
7. Social Sector
   – educational / family / foundations / marriage / religious

The presupposition that there is a single, monolithic culture is problematic because it does not take into account subcultures. Thus, even if there are arguably these seven channels of cultural influence (highly debatable if the church would even qualify in certain demographics), they are duplicated in each subculture. Some would even make the very valid case that American evangelical Christianity has become a subculture unto itself, and thus, even when they convene to “impact” the culture at large, they only can sit atop their own box and make observations with field binoculars.

The reason why many of the Asian American pastors and leaders who attended the Q felt they walked away emptyhanded, is that despite all the great ideas and the high-powered speaker list, very little of it is applicable to the Asian American context. Don’t get me wrong, great ideas and inspiration abounded, but readily applicable? Not so much — not without a lot of processing and decompression.

In essence, while Q was indeed the coolest “Christian” conference I’ve ever attended, its existence perpetuates some of the problem inadvertently. First of all, there is a tendency from the industrial model to assume that there are “best practices” to church, even as believers and church leaders. Secondly, the industry of Christianity is dictating how Christian communities should be formed, rather than the community itself. In other words, programs are leading people. Our intentions are good, but when we commoditize who Jesus is, or perhaps more to the point, people who tell us what life with Jesus is like, we create subculture heroes, and then they themselves can’t get out of the box that we proclaim that we are trying to get out of. Or perhaps we hope that they can pull us out of the box with them.

We end up as American Idols, rather than artists — masters of a craft, willing to suffer for our art, wrestling with ourselves to make room for our expression, where we don’t care if we’re starving or not. Q doesn’t give me the sense that it will be a place to incubate great ideas, but rather I fear it could be a center for continuing Christian industry. Ultimately, this is not what real innovators do, this is not where the most creative people convene, this is where they give their voice and share their success, but it is not the crucible for their vision.

I have no problem with Q, please don’t misunderstand. I’m just trying to figure out where it stands in my mind. These aren’t final thoughts…just initial ones.

I have thought of him everyday since I first heard the news and saw his face.

I have read a dozen news articles (here’s one from Newsweek), run across scores of blog entries (thank you elderJ and Anthony Bradley), heard a couple of sermons even (thanks DJ), and seen more than my share of videos on YouTube of him. I have wept, prayed, shuddered, become more resolute, let the moments fade and yet this mourning is not fully lifted.

I don’t have much new to say, except that I linger here because his face is so familiar to me, the narrative of his life so tangible to me, and that loneliness and even some of the rejection he faced is not so far from me.

Interestingly enough, in DJ’s last post, “Takedown Power of Racism”, there is an audio snippet of a conversation we had over BBQ and sweet tea in the heart of Loganville, where “David 2″, a Caucasian, said pointblank when he first heard of the shootings, he thought it had to be “a white guy” because “that’s just what white guys do.”

Somehow the thought snuck into my mind that if we as Asian Americans “do white” better than whites (economically and academically), would we take on their sociopathology as well? Where out of our cultural DNA is this coming? And don’t say “sin” — that’s too easy.  Sin has roots. There are varieties and permutations of sin. There is a history and physical to each sin. Where is ours coming from? What is the particular DNA of our Asian American expressions of sin?

I see Asian American churches as potential centers of healing and reconciliation for those historical and cultural “roots of sin”, and yet so many times, our churches stay silent on those subjects, as though teaching about sin in general will fix the problem. Which is all the more amazing that Jesus would ask the blind beggar, “What do you want me to do for you?” At first reading, I thought, “Isn’t it obvious?” and I heard the Spirit whisper back, “Is it?”

I mourn because it is too late for some, but there is hope. Lord, I want to hear my own heartbeat again.